Depression – A Personal Note

by / Friday, 07 April 2017 / Published in Lifestyle, Well Being

Depression can happen to anyone, young – old, rich – poor, men – women, single – married, successful – struggling anyone. It doesn’t discriminate and there is no list (other than the few obvious ones) of causes that can lead to it.
Talking about the obvious causes, I feel most deadly one is “Pressure”. The pressure we put on ourselves to be successful, to be tough, to look perfect (thanks to social media) that even we don’t understand what bar we’ve set for ourselves where we will feel contained. For example, a homemaker sometimes aspires to be like another homemaker in her circle who has some amazing homemaking skills, then sometime she wants to be like a celebrity mom, strutting around in high heels and fashionable clothes like Beyonce or sometimes she is just trying hard to be like the mom of another kid who she believes is better than her at parenting. We are always so confused on the questions like what we want to do and where we want to be that the pressure surmounts to a different level. Then we train our brain that we cannot show weakness, when your heart is about to explode and you want to cry as the world is coming to an end.
In my coaching experience, I have come across many clients who came to me for consultation/ coaching as they thought they need guidance in looking better, having good communication skills, feeling confident, etc. Not knowing that at times the underlying cause of it was a depression which they were unaware of. I could help a few and sent others for professional help, but one thing that I found in common was that all of them need just one thing, an EAR. An ear to listen and not hear, an ear to which they can pour their hearts, and don’t worry about being judged, or being vulnerable, or being seen as a weak person.
In my personal note, what I request you all is to be the EAR for someone. When you have a doubt that something is not right with the person you know, go and ask them. They will either laugh about it or say that you’re crazy, some will get annoyed, some will ignore the question or some will change the topic but don’t stop. They need a friend more than ever, an annoying friend who doesn’t give up who keeps pursuing till they break up and tell you what’s wrong.
If they don’t open up to you, talk to someone they are close to. Tell them about the situation and if you have suggestions on how to help discuss it and make sure that this friend is taking necessary steps to talk the person going through depression.
Depression is like or AIDS or maybe worse, you realize very late that you have it and once you’ve got it, it opens up a portal to all the other diseases. It goes all downhill from there. Let’s make sure that we keep our hearts open to people around us who need our help to fight through it. Let’s promote the idea of good mental health.

Be Positive, Original & Style in Harmony!
-Sonia Dubey Dewan